Making a good thing even better

Do you remember when you were a kid and you’re favorite thing in the world was making that ridiculous slurpy sound that comes when you’re trying – literally – to suck the bottom of a cup through a straw to make sure that you’ve got the last bit of milkshake out? Or was that just me, given that the whole world is merely a projection of our interior stories? Regardless….

For what ever reason, those days have been long gone for me. Maybe it was the late in life milk allergy (actually, I was allergic early in life too, but was so out of touch with my body during my childhood and teen years that I stopped noticing). Or maybe it was because somewhere I read something that suggested that it really wasn’t a good idea to be swallowing something that had just passed through a tube or cheap, industrial plastic. Maybe it was the straws that I grew up on as a kid were actually kind of beat (to paraphrase Michael J). Or maybe I just decided that I was too old for such silly noises while I ate or that my father – who is very big on inter-state rivalries – wasn’t around to tell me: “You know, in Arkansas, that means you’re done.”

So, even though I have green smoothies (or sometimes not green smoothies) every day, if not more, I did it sans straws. Instead, I used a spoon and felt very much the responsible adult. And life was good – or so I thought.

Then, lo and behold, Michael J bought me a Christmas present and it was, as you’ve probably guessed, a straw.

But not just any old cheap plastic straw that’s too narrow to use for anything other than soda and collapses under the slightest bit of suction. Oh no. A beautiful glass straw (complete with a life-time guarantee, since I have been known to be “hard on things”) that is plenty broad and has a nice beautiful bend.

I love it. It truly is a piece of functional art.

Moreover, and against all predictions to the contrary, it slows me down. No longer do I gulp my smoothies down with a spoon. I sip it. And occasionally I’ll pull the straw out and suck the smoothie out. And sometimes, though not in front of guests, I find myself practically fellat-ing the thing as I suck the outside of the straw clean before dipping it back into the class. Playing with my food? You ask.

To quote one of the great luminaries of our time (NOT!): “You betcha.”

Recently, I attended a two day pleasure camp with Pleasure Revolutionary, Jena La Flamme. Three of the big takeaways around food were 1) slow down, 2) eat with pleasure, 3) breathe. (There are many others, mind you, but you’ll have to join her for a week in Rhinebeck, NY this summer to find out more ;).

Over the holidays, I must admit, that I had sort of lost sight of these relatively simple guiding principles. Indeed, there were many times over the break that I realized that I was not eating with pleasure (but rather, for pleasure), I was not breathing, and I was certainly not slow. When I returned home, I was dismayed to find that my waist had ballooned to pre-program proportions. And as I lamented all this to Michael J. he said, why don’t you just start doing the pleasure principles again.

“I don’t know how!” I practically wailed (and most certainly whined).

He looked at me funny. “Don’t you just have to slow down and breathe?”

And them, almost like magic, he handed me my Christmas present….

Some things are luck. Some things are serendipitous. Others, really are close to magic.

Somehow, my glass straw, pulled me back from the brink and back into pleasure.

I’ve slowed down. I’ve remembered to breath. And most of all, I am enjoying my food – even that which is not accessible to said straw.

I love my straw. It’s awesome. It makes me laugh and makes me feel like a little kid. There truly is something delightful about that ridiculous noise, not to mention the act of getting every little bit out of the bottom of my glass.

1 comment so far

  1. Patty Wilson on

    The best part about this is the cleaning brush! I bought a straw before, but I can’t get it clean, so I gave up on it. Ran over to Amazon and ordered right away. Thanks for the recommendation!

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