Over Indulgence, Addiction, and Forgiveness

I went out last night with friends for dinner and I had the whole enchilada – meaning that I did the whole drink (1), appetizer, entree, and dessert! I can’t even tell you the last time that has happened.

It was delicious.

It was indulgent.

It was fun.

It was high vibrational – as most of the food was organic and locally produced.

It was rich.

It was also very, very expensive.

Although my soul was filled, my body was overfull. (I also can’t tell you the last time that’s happened).

I didn’t feel good physically and when I got home, and believe it or not, I found myself noshing on leftover delicata squash (see earlier post). The full sensation – the overfull sensation actually made me want to eat more! Not to mention the sugar in the wine and the (shudder) ice cream sundae with dark chocolate sauce and brandied cherries!

I made the decision to have that meal consciously, knowing that for the next three days I am going to have to monitor my food intake closely. I won’t be counting calories, but I will be extra diligent for sugar. Because now that it’s in my system – just like crack! – the craving is there…. Just an idea. Just a whisper. Just an ever present suggestion: Are you sure you wouldn’t like a little bit more?

I would, actually. But I’m going to pass.

Last night, as I crawled in bed, I murmured the following as I rubbed my tummy, anointing it with lavender:

I apologize
I love you
Please forgive me
Thank you

No self-recriminations, just love. I am the caretaker of my body and I – and I alone – am responsible for it’s condition.

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