Year End and Looking Forward

I had a big year last year when it came to my body and, more importantly, to my relationship with it!

I lost that last ten stubborn pounds (some of which have come back as muscle).

I threw my scale away, which was both liberating and scary.

I bought my first pair of size fours in June (and I’m still wearing them)!

I joined an on-line support community for women who want to transform their relationship with their body and their ideas about food. There I learned to love yoga and began thinking seriously about the old adage: “You are what you eat.”

I went gluten-free and convinced my sister to do the same.

I am happy to say that since I stopped eating gluten almost 6 months ago, I was able to get off of two prescription medications that I had been taking for over a year! Note that one of those medications was prescribed to deal with the side effects of the other!

I’ve also had no sign of arthritis in my hands (which routinely reared its ugly head during the winter months).

I am also thrilled to report that my sister no longer has weekly migraines and a number of her digestive problems (which I won’t share with you, here, as they are not my own) have completely disappeared. Congratulations sis!

Although I was eating better and feeling better, I realized that I still had a lot of emotional issues around food that I had been carrying around since I was 16 and weighed a whopping 232.5 pounds.

In other words, I still had no sense of portion control and I still ate my emotions.

When I was bored, I ate. When I was nervous, I ate. When I was stressed, I ate. When I was angry – you guessed it.

And when I ate, I didn’t just eat until I was 80% full, which is what all of the nutritionists tell you. I usually ate until I was at least 120% full, which often turns into 140% full once your brain gets the message from your stomach that you should have stopped at least 15 minutes sooner!

About five weeks ago, I was at a conference where it turns out a number of participants were “raw.” That is, 80% of the food they eat has not been cooked (or heated above 105 degrees).

These women – and they were mostly women – were thin, gorgeous, and literally had this glow about them.

They were confident and charming.

They were totally comfortable in their skin, which was absolutely flawless, by the way.

And, more to the point, they were not obsessed with food. Whereas everyone else were checking their watches and grumbling about what time the presenter was going to let us go to lunch, these beautiful, thin, and centered women were fully present with the material.

They weren’t proselytizing either.

In fact, it wasn’t until the second day of the conference, when I offered the woman next to me something that I was eating, that she even mentioned that she was a raw foodist.


Because I love food – all types of food – and I had recently gone gluten-free, I was fascinated and soon she and I would start talking about raw food whenever presenter broke – for lunch or whatever.

Compared to mine (which has improved dramatically over the years), her approach towards eating seemed so sane. So balanced.

And she definitely wasn’t someone who sounded all deprived. She wasn’t saying: I only get to eat raw food (poor pitiful me). She was more like: I only eat raw food (and I frickin’ love it)!

Well, in my search for gluten-free dessert recipes that I could make at Christmas to share with my family, I had actually come across a cookbook online: “28 Desserts You Can Eat Everyday.” It was a raw foods cookbook – again, meaning that most of the recipes used raw nuts, seeds, cacao, fruits, vegetables, natural sweeteners, spices, etc.

Although I didn’t buy it immediately, I did sign up for author’s weekly newsletter.

However, after meeting my new friend, who shall be known as M, the next time one of the cookbook lady’s emails showed up in my in box, I pushed the button.

As it turns out, raw desserts are delicious (and they are way easier and faster to make than cooked desserts). As yet another new raw friend pointed out: I don’t have to wait for them to heat up and I don’t have to wait for them to cool down – they’re perfect!

And then another coincidence occurred: my friend M (the one I met at the conference) just happened to also be going to Tulsa for the holidays! Small world since I live on the East Coast and we originally met in Los Angeles!

M and I (and her mother and my sister) went to the local raw food restaurant that I had blogged about earlier.

Well, as it turns out, M was just as cool as I remembered (as was her mother) and the food was better than I had ever imagined possible.

We had an absolutely fabulous meal and – even better – I didn’t feel at all sick or bloated like I sometimes do after eating out.

In fact, it wouldn’t be a stretch to say that I felt clean, vibrant, and alive!

When’s the last time you felt that way after eating pizza and a brownie with “fudge” sauce?

So, the holidays continued. Every day I made raw smoothies and experimented with raw desserts. Eventually, I even managed to recruit my poor sister onto the bandwagon. She now owns not one high speed blender – but two!

Since December 28th, I have been 70-75% raw.

Starting December 29, I went what some refer to as “high raw” – or raw until dinner.

Yesterday I had my first 100% raw day.

I have also signed up on yet another virtual on-line community (Raw Food Rehab) – this one dedicated to helping people get more raw foods into their lifestyle. I even went so far as to apply to join their 11 week initiative. Here, you get additional support (should you need it) to stay at least 80% raw for 11 weeks.

If you’re interested at all in raw food, this website has an insane number of raw food recipes and forums to get you started and to keep you going.

That’s actually where I’ve been the last few days instead of posting here!

So, if you’re still reading this, you might be thinking: but why? Why would you want to cut most – if not all – cooked food out of your diet? Why would you willingly give up pancakes and eggs for breakfast (or even oatmeal and maple syrup) in exchange for a green smoothie?

The whys are complicated, but I’ll try to give it my best shot.

It’s fun.

It’s easy.

It’s delicious.

Raw is naturally gluten-free, so I don’t have to worry about eating something inadvertently that’s going to make me sick.

Raw is also naturally alkaline, something that I’ve been trying to attain for almost three years.

And, more importantly, it’s broken all of my pre-existing addictions to food.

I eat when I want to eat and I stop eating when I’m 80% full.

My emotions are not tied up with raw food the way they are with cooked food.

The only way I can think to say it is that I am finally eating for nutrition instead of comfort.

My calorie intake is so much lower (even though my nutrient intake is about the same [or even higher!]) – trust me, I keep track of everything using LoseIt – that I’m no longer going to have to spend three hours a day doing cardio just to maintain my current weight.

But, all that aside (and I am sure there are others) I think Michael J summed it up best: You’re so much lighter and joyous in the kitchen and around food than you used to be! It’s been a real pleasure to just be around and watch you play.

So, that’s where I am. And that’s exactly what I’ve been doing. I’ll be sure to keep you posted and share all of my new, fun, and easy recipes!

I hope you have a wonderful new year! I certainly intend to!


2 comments so far

  1. Nathalie Lussier on

    I am so impressed by your commitment to yourself, your health, and just giving raw food an honest try. I know you’re going to feel incredible eating this way, and I love how easy going you are on yourself. Woohoo for feeling lighter around food! 🙂

    Keep it up my dear!

  2. KJ on

    Well, Nathalie, you were certainly the first step onto my raw food journey, so thank you! And I look forward to working with you in the future. As I said before, the food combining seems to really be working! Thanks for that, as well! Hope you made it home safely!

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