Archive for the ‘strategies’ Category
Setting priorities
Leave a CommentAs I drove in this morning, I found myself going round and round in my head about how much stuff I had to accomplish today and how little time I had in which to accomplish it. The more I thought about all of the things that I needed to do, the more stressed out I began to feel.
Essentially, I am swamped at work; I should be doing nothing at the moment other than working. But I really wanted to exercise. And sadly enough, as I drove into campus, I had just about convinced myself to skip the gym. However, before that decision could stick, I remembered my last quote of the day.
Sitting at a crosswalk, trying to decide whether to turn right for prime gym parking or to proceed straight to the office without collecting my $200, I decided that there are a lot of ways to waste time during the work day, but that working out was not one of them.
I went to the gym, as desired.
I then went to my office and started grading.
What I did not do was start surfing.
What I most certainly did not do was check email.
In fact, I left my computer in its bag on the floor! Ladies and gentleman, a first (but not a last)!
I’m glad I worked out.
I’m gladder, still, that I finished grading.
And do I feel bad about the email and web? Not really. Because, trust me, the email (and the world at large, for that matter) are still right where I left them.
Memorial Day with MJ’s Parents
As noted before, I have struggled with how to deal with my eating preferences and other people — especially when I’ve been invited to their homes.
This holiday weekend, we were invited over for the typical family Bar-b-Que, with steak, chicken, elk, potato salad, baked beans, and beer.
I packed up a huge bowl of tabouli (or, tabbouleh, which is the proper spelling), some veggie burgers, and some Arnold’s Multi-grain Sandwich Thins. I tossed my burgers on the grill and no one said a thing, other than I’d waited too long and therefore didn’t get to start eating when everyone else did! But that’s okay; they were still at it when I got there and there was still plenty to go around.
I even tasted the elk and the steak — both were delicious. But more to the point, everyone loved the tabouli and I got to eat exactly what I wanted!
For dessert, I passed on the Ben & Jerry’s, the Key Lime Pie, and the Strawberries and Angel Food Cake. I fixed a really strong cup of Raspberry Zinger tea and curled up on the couch for some quiet conversation. I’ll write more about my new relationship with tea later!
The first couple of times I approached family meals this way, I felt awkward. However, now that I’ve been consistent, people don’t seem to find it strange. Instead, it’s “just the way KJ eats.”
So, give it a try. It may be awkward at first (or it might not be). But as you stick to it, it simply becomes the way things are…just like the person who doesn’t like fruity fruit or, god forbid, beets.
What’s for lunch?
I woke up and it was cool and dreary! So, I decided that a nice hot stew would fit the bill.
I put together one of the regular salads for the weekend, checked the cupboards and crisper, made sure that the cilantro was still good and pulled out my trusty Moosewood Restaurant Cooks at Home.
And the winner: Peruvian Quinoa Stew.
For more information on quinoa, go here.
I tend to make a big salad and at least a couple of one pot meals during the weekend so that we’ll have plenty of quick, healthy options during the week! Enjoy.
Note to self:
Feeling a little sluggish after last night’s carb and sugar fest. It’s fine to have them on very special occasions, but don’t underestimate the effect that it’s going to have on your — my — body.
When you start following a diet devoid, for the most part, of sugar and alcohol, you can really appreciate how delicate the chemistry of the body is when you add them back in!
So far so good: Over-scheduled! Update
I got up this morning, late and feeling tired. Instead of sticking to yesterday’s plan, I immediately started working and then when I realized that I wouldn’t get in a full hour of exercise, I decided to skip the workout. I worked some more and then thought: What the heck are you doing?! You know you have a tough day ahead, get up and get to the gym. Less is better than nothing! I threw my exercise clothes on, packed a bag and was out the door in 15 minutes. I got to the gym at 7:15, got on the elliptical — my four favorite cardio machines were unavailable, which I also found irritating– at 7:20, plugged in 40 minutes.
So, I only burned 375 calories instead of 550. It was better than nothing.
I took a quick shower, grabbed my computer, and headed to the dinner.
Immediately, I was tempted by the “Healthy Option: Light Multigrain Waffle filled with Oats and Walnuts, Served with Fresh Strawberries, Real Vermont Butter and Maple Syrup.” (I’d hate to see the Unhealthy Options — oh yeah, that would be the rest of the menu). My bad. I was particularly tempted when a waitress brought one to the woman sitting less than two feet to my right. It looked — and smelled — delicious!
With much gritting of the teeth, I decided, believe it or not, to stick with the plan. I ordered (and eventually enjoyed) my bowl of fresh fruit and pot of orange spice herbal tea, not to mention the conversation with the visiting scholar.
Now, you may be wondering if was “the plan” that kept me from ordering the “Healthy Option” as opposed to the pre-planned bowl of fruit. I’m not so sure to tell you the truth. But having thought about the challenges facing me before hand and actually writing it out was a powerful exercise. Though, it may have been the pseudo-calorie calculation I did, which put the waffle at 400 calories — that is, 400 without the butter, strawberries, or syrup — versus my 100 calorie fruit bowl, which I knew from experience was comprised mostly of melon!
On to the pub.
So a few hours later, I head over the pub with my students. From a health perspective, the menu was horrifying.
I ordered a spinach salad and added salmon. Hands down: the worst lunch/dinner salad I’ve ever had.
The spinach was wilted (and not in a warm spinach salad sort of way, but rather in a I’ve been sitting in a plastic bag for a week sort of way) and the salmon was so dry and salty that it stuck to my tongue.
Now, normally I try to avoid what nutrition coach Sonni Tallent refers to as “Ick” food (or food that you’ve had in the fridge a day — or three — too long, but you eat it anyway because it’s there), but in this case, I was hungry and my students had invited me. Besides, the conversation was awesome, and sometimes that’s all that really matters. I picked through the salad and left half of the salmon on the plate.
As soon as I left, I went back to the office and downed 16 ounces of Perfect Food (as a detoxing move) and 16 ounces of herbal tea. Note to self: drink way more water than normal before going to bed!
So, to my best guess, I have consumed 850 calories, which leaves me with 650 for the banquet later this evening. Hopefully I can keep it under 500, so I can go home and have the dessert of my choice. If not, I’ll either skip dessert or have it anyway!
So, what did I learn?
On challenging days, it’s good to try to think them through the day before and do your level best to stick to the plan to the best of your ability. And, if you’re anything like me (who tends to have an all or nothing attitude) it’s also a good idea to try to stick to them as long as you can — as who knows what might have happened had I derailed myself early by either failing to go to the gym or ordering the waffle (or both).
The really important thing to note, however, is that I wasn’t “perfect,” at any point at the day. I didn’t exercise the amount I wanted to. I really had to think long and hard about not getting the waffle. And I had something for lunch that had enough salt in it to preserve a horse.
But I was close at each stage of the game.
More importantly, I was closer than I would have been if I hadn’t thought it through and had a plan to which I felt at least marginally accountable.
The good news is that I’m sure that the certainty that I have gained in my ability to navigate obstacles and to make the healthiest choices I can will see me safely – and happily — through dinner, not to mention any of the other myriad of opportunities to overeat that I have facing me in the coming weeks!
Getting Real About Calories
As I have been talking with various people about diet and weight loss, I’ve come to realize that most people have no idea how many calories that they’re eating in a meal, let alone in a day. So it seems to me that the number one thing that people need to do is get aware of what (and how much) they’re putting in their mouth and how much effort at the gym (or wherever) it’s going to take to get it off their hips!
There have been a number of studies lately about how good people are at estimating the number of calories things have in them; and guess what? It depends! But some interesting trends are apparent. Thin people tend to be more accurate when estimating the number of calories in a meal, whereas overweight people tend to underestimate them. Interesting? Well, it gets better. As it turns out, this really has nothing to do with body weight, but rather that people (regardless of weight) tend to be better at estimating small meals rather than large meals. And overweight people tend to eat larger meals than thinner people. So, hidden tip: Eat smaller meals!
So, how does one go about getting real about calories?
I recently stumbled across this website, where someone had taken photographs of everything in their kitchen that amounted to 200 calories, just to get an idea of what 200 calories actually looked like. Notice the tiny blob of my personal favorite–peanut butter–compared to the platter of kiwi!!
Another way is to simply keep a detailed food diary (meaning amounts as well as items) and to do a quick calorie count. There are a ton of calorie counting websites out there. My personal favorites are Calorie King, Calorie Count, and the Daily Plate. Though sometimes I just type in the words “beets calories” –that is, I’m eating beets–and Google will take me right where I need to be.
My personal strategy is to create an excel book with three worksheets.
The first sheet is the things that I tend to eat over and over (or things I make by recipe). I got the calorie counts for these all in one setting, because I know that I will be entering them over and over.
The second sheet is titled, Food and Exercise. This is where I do the calories in and the calories out.
On the third worksheet, Daily Totals, I add the calories burned in daily exercise to my personal BMR x 1.1 (because I have a relatively sedentary lifestyle) and subtract the calories I consume. On this page, I also keep track of my weigh-ins and my measurements.
Although I hated keeping a traditional food diary when I was in Weight Watchers, I get a tremendous amount of pleasure with my excel sheet. Maybe it’s the little kid in me that used to sit around and play with the adding machine!
Now, Michael is not a fan of the excel sheet; he’s much more techie than I am! He’s got an iPhone and he is a huge fan of the app, Lose-It. Unfortunate name, but a marvelous tracking device. Not only does it keep track of your calories, it also keeps track of your nutrients! Besides that, it’s super easy to use and it gives you an excuse to whip out your iPhone at dinner, which in most men’s worlds, is always a plus!
Now notice that I keep track of my calories burned just as I do the calories consumed. This is essential. Because there’s nothing more sobering than getting off a spinning bike after an hour of hard work and realizing, wow, all that effort and I just barely worked off that impulse scone from Panera.
Once you get real about about calories–that is, how easy it is to eat them and how much effort it takes to use them–it’s easier to make choices that support your goals instead of those that undermine them!
Disrupting Old Patterns and Replacing Them With Something New
I was lecturing the other day on cognitive theories within social psychology and started talking about schema. A schema is, essentially, a set of affective cognitions–or thoughts–that people have about a certain object, a class of people, activities, etc. Generally, these schema can be classified as good or bad. We like them or we don’t.
The interesting thing about a schema is that once you have one, it affects the way you process information: that is, whether or not you even notice something, how quickly it becomes part of your consciousness, and even how long you remember it! And because most humans strive for cognitive consistency, they tend to not notice, disregard, or forget about information that does not fit their schema. This is one reason why culturally held stereotypes are so slow to change.
Anyway, I was trying to come up with an example of a schema that I have and almost immediately, I flashed on the imagine of a cupcake. Let’s be honest: I love cupcakes. Not only do they taste good, they’re the right size, they smell delicious, I like the weight of them in my hand (you can eat them with your hands!), and they bring back fond memories of childhood parties, etc. In other words, I have a positive associations with cupcakes on just about every possible level. In case you’re curious, cupcakes are triggers for me. Or, more to the point, they used to be.
Now, assume that you loved cupcakes as much as I did. Would you stop eating them just because I told you that you should? No, not really. It might work for awhile, but eventually you’d see one and you’d be like, “Oh!” Because when you see them or when you smell them, you associate all of this really good stuff with them–not to mention they taste like cake!
Now, the other day on The Biggest Loser, the coaches had placed covered trays around the gym. Contestants were supposed to work out and every so often they had to pick a tray, which either held a non-food-prize or a food-prize. And the food-prizes weren’t carrots and celery, they were cupcakes and brownies and such! So, think about it, you’re in a gym, you’re working as hard as you possibly can to lose weight so that you can stay in the running, and your coaches are forcing you to eat junk food–on national T.V.
One woman actually consumed 3,500 calories during this exercise! 3,500 calories of junk food which could have immediate and severe consequences on the likelihood of further participation! Do you think she was enjoying those cupcakes? Do you think that she was savoring the smell and thinking about how much her mother must have loved her to make cupcakes once a month for her class? No! She was thinking about how each and every bite was potentially going to get her voted off! She was thinking about how each and every bite was going straight to her hips. And after weeks of only eating healthy food, she was probably thinking about how disgusting all that fat and sugar felt coursing through her system–or rather, sitting in her stomach like a lead balloon.
And at the end of the exercise, do you think Jillian Michaels comforted this poor woman for having blown her diet? No. What she did say was something like this: “I want you to remember this. I want you to remember what it felt like. I want you to remember the sick feeling in your stomach when you ate this junk. Every time you’re confronted with something that used to tempt you, I want you to remember these feelings. I want you to remember what it felt like. I want you remember what you felt like.”
Wow. That Jillian woman is scary, huh? While it may seem like she’s a real witch, she actually gave these people a huge gift. Essentially, she broke their mostly positive schema regarding certain types of food and she replaced it with something negative. She didn’t tell them that it was bad for them, but she got them to know it in their bodies, their emotions, and their identities.
Now this may seem extreme, but I had a similar experience recently. I went out to dinner with Michael and I really, really wanted a hamburger and fries. It had been years since I’d had one and I thought, what’s the big deal? And just to add insult to injury, I also tossed on some blue cheese and bacon! Although Michael paid for the meal at the time, I paid for it all night long. I couldn’t sleep; my stomach was killing me; I felt like I was 9 months pregnant; and I looked it too!
Assuming that I am ever face-to-face with another blue cheese bacon burger and a plate of fries, how tempted do you think I’d be, on a scale from 1 to 10? It’s true that I could focus on how much I liked the restaurant and what a good time that I had with Michael that day and maybe I’d get over it, but why would I want to? Instead, what I will do when I get the urge for a burger or fries, or both, is remember what it felt like the night after I had actually had both. I’ll focus on the bloating. I’ll focus on the inability to sleep. I’ll remember how tired I was the next morning. And, more often than not, I’ll happily order a salad or some nicely broiled piece of salmon!
Have I had a hamburger since? No.
Have I missed it? Not really.
In the coming weeks, I’ll offer some tips and suggestions on how not only to interrupt old cognitive patterns regarding food and exercise, but also how to replace them with something new!
The Gift of a Guided Mind
Whenever I tried to lose weight in the past–notice all of the invitations to fail in that clause–I always focused on the negative. In other words, whenever I did something wrong, I tended to beat myself up for it. I’d like to believe that I am the only person out who has ever done that, but not even I am that naive!
I think the general approach that most people take towards a diet (which Garfield rightly pointed out was spelled “Die” with a “t” on the end) is punitive. Whenever you deviate from the plan, you punish yourself. Whenever I deviated from my diet, I would kill myself at the gym the next day to make up for it or I would just simply be amazingly rude to myself and, more importantly, about myself.
This time, I’ve jettisoned that doomed to fail strategy. Instead, I have chosen to shift my focus from what I’ve done wrong to what I have done right. Because when I do that, I realize that I do more things that are right than I do things that are wrong.
And not only do I notice what I do right–even when it’s just something as simple as drinking my water, exercising in my training zone, chewing my food well, being the last person to finish eating, leaving something on my plate, doing my deep breathing exercises, or taking my vitamins–I acknowledge them. Heck, not only do I acknowledge them, I celebrate them! I tell myself how awesome I am. I congratulate myself on my success and my determination. I applaud my dedication and my effort.
In other words, I don’t sweat the bad stuff; and I celebrate the good stuff. And the more I celebrate the good stuff, the more often I want to do more of it. Does that make sense? When’s the last time you celebrated a decision that you made when it came to food or exercise?
Beating yourself up is never a good strategy and, trust me, there will always be someone else out there who will do it for you. As trite as it sounds, be your own best friend, not your own worst enemy. Focus on the good stuff. Focus on the successes. You become that upon which you focus, so it’s imperative that you guide your mind where you want to go! Trust me, do this one small thing and the rest will follow.
p.s. I also no longer diet. Instead, I make conscious choices about food and exercise that give me energy and help me to feel better about myself and my body.
Defining Success
After an hour of aerobic conditioning, I stepped on the scale: 143.2! I had gained 2.2 pounds! Ouch!
“That was fast,” my little voice snarked. “I knew it wasn’t maintainable!”
Ignoring it, I quickly ran through a little checklist:
Had I put anything in my body that was not serving my goals? No.
Had I put too much of anything in my body that was not serving my goals? No.
Had I continued doing what I know works? Yes.
Had I had anything salty for dinner? No.
What date was it? Bingo!
Given the nature of bodies (especially female bodies), not to mention the inconsistencies of measuring devices, I have decided to define success–that is, successful maintenance–as staying within 3 pounds of my target weight (either way).
In other words, like any good statistician, I have given myself a margin of error. As long as I stay within that six pound spread (which is a pretty generous spread) I’m golden.
No why would I do that? Because weighing alone is not reliable. Having an acceptable range (as opposed to number) will prevent me from freaking out or defining myself as a failure and then, either tacitly or explicitly, giving myself permission to quit.
This way, when I hit that upper three pound threshold, I simply know that I need to reduce my calories again. When I go too low, I know that I need to add in more calories of the type that I had been eating when I was losing–that is, fresh fruits and vegetables, whole grains, etc. This does not mean that I just get to start adding in junk. And this most certainly does not mean that I get to dive head first into a jar of peanut butter!
So, I am at the upper end of the threshold; does this mean I need to stop eating or go back to the gym? Does this mean I should quit and see if I can get those 10s back from Talbots? No, it simply means I need to reduce my calories by about 300 a day and see that tomorrow brings.
I’ll keep you posted.
Diaphragmatic Breathing
One of the routines that I added in over the last month was the simple act of breathing. I take two sets of ten deep diaphragmatic breathing. By that, I mean taking a deep breath in (expanding your stomach), holding it in, and then exhaling slowly (while your stomach retracts). I tend do this on a 6-24-12 ratio; meaning, I breath in for a count of 6, hold it for a count of 24, and exhale for a count of 12.
Now, you may be thinking, I can’t hold my breath for 24 counts! Well, then try 3-12-6. It’s the ratio that matters, not the length. I started out with 3-12-6 and am now up to, on good days, 8-32-16.
Now, you may be thinking, why would I do that? The reasons are multitude. One, it’s incredibly relaxing. Two, it stimulates the lymph in the body. Lymph is essential in ridding the body of waste and other toxins. You get that stuff out of there and you start feeling better–almost immediately.
My own personal objection was, when am I going to have the time? My own personal solution is in the car. I have a thirty minute commute. It takes me less than 12 minutes to take 10 deep breaths. It helps relax me during the drive in (and on the ride home). It also helps increase my focus on the day ahead on the way in. And it helps me discharge any lingering stress of the day on the way out. Try it. You might be pleasantly surprised.
My Little Voice
After such a great day yesterday, my little voice reared its ugly head this morning. To tell you the truth, I wasn’t surprised. And further, I assume that it’s going to do that more and more frequently until it realizes that I am no longer listening.
This morning, as I was getting dressed, I tried on a pair of never worn brown pants (and a never worn pair of black pants) that no longer fit. Unfortunately, I do not have the receipts for these. They are, essentially, sunk costs. So immediately my little voice kicks in: You’ve wasted all this money on clothes! You don’t have anything to wear! What are you going to teach in? You’re going to have to spend even more money now! You shouldn’t have bought those to begin with. They look worse now than they did when you were heavier! Maybe you should gain some weight so you won’t have to buy new clothes! It went on and on and on.
I stood there for a moment trying to imagine that my little voice didn’t sound so much like my grandmother who, may she rest in peace, never wasted a cent in her life. In fact, you could give her one and she could give you ten back (she wouldn’t mind you, but she could). I imagined instead that my little voice sounded a little bit like Antonio Banderas. That took the sting out, let me tell you. In fact, thinking about Antonio Banderas whispering in my ear, I was only all too happy to disrobe!
Anyway, once I got the knee jerk reaction to run downstairs and grab some chocolate under control, I took a step back and asked myself: is feeling good about myself and about my body (and everything else that entails) worth the $60 that I spent on these pants that I never intend to wear?
You bet your britches it is!
C-A-N-I
At the recent Tony Robbins event that Michael and I crewed, Robbins introduced a relatively simple strategy for success, which he refers to as C-A-N-I. Not to be confused with “Can I [Do it]?”, C-A-N-I stands for Constant And Never-ending Improvement. Does that mean perfection? Not at all. It means just what it says; in any quest for positive change, you should strive for constant and never-ending improvement. Some days are not going to be perfect–heck, some hours are not going to be perfect. But as long as you have your eye set on a clearly defined goal, such as losing 10 pounds (or even 40 or 50 pounds) of excess fat or reducing your weight enough to eliminate joint pain and facilitate greater flexibility, constant and never-ending improvement will get you there.
Trigger Foods
When I was a teenager, I had friends who went to OA (Overeaters Anonymous) meetings. The premise there is that you are powerless over certain foods and, like members of AA (Alcoholics Anonymous), you make the decision to abstain from a particular food, for life. At the time I thought, ‘This is ridiculous–I am more powerful than any food!’
As I have aged, I realize that during periods of my life, I am powerless in the face of certain food. Last season it was Chocolate Chip Oatmeal cookies. This season, it’s Once Again Organic Crunchy Peanut Butter (no salt added).
“It’s organic, how bad can it be?” you ask. Pretty bad when you’re eating it off carrots, fingers, spoons, knives, or anything else to which you could get it to adhere!
It was to the point that every time I walked by the counter, I would have to have a bite (or two). And when Michael (my partner) would empty a jar (leaving at least a tablespoon around the edges), I would oh so generously offer to clean it out for him. My tool of choice was usually a spatula.
Once I admitted that I was indeed powerless in the face of this particular food, things got better. With much chagrin, I asked Michael to 1) put the peanut butter away in a cabinet that I rarely use and 2) put dish soap in the pseudo-empty peanut butter jar and fill it up with warm water.
Fortunately for me, Michael is wonderful and agreed without even so much as a smirk.
I have other triggers, but this season peanut butter is the killer. It’s deadly not because it’s lacking in nutritional value, but because we keep it in the house. Most of my other trigger foods are easier to avoid–such as the “healthy cookies” that I made 36 batches of (and ate) last year when I was going up for tenure, the Dark Chocolate Dove pieces that I would occasionally keep stored in in my desk, or the chocolate croissants at the Dirt Cowboy.
A trigger is not a certain type of food (although most of mine involve lots of sugar and/or fat), but any food that you feel like you have to have whenever you see it. In fact, whenever you have to have anything, you are out of control. And when you are out of control, you are–effectively–powerless.
My first step, like my friends from OA, was to identify the foods not only that I ate uncontrollably, but also triggered the overeating of other foods. The second step was to avoid the ones that I could–that is, I stopped making cookies, I walk down the other side of main street when going into town, and I steer clear of the candy isle at CVS–and make contingency plans to help me deal more effectively with those that I couldn’t. The third step, which was probably the most difficult, was realizing that when I couldn’t manage it on my own, it was perfectly okay to ask for help.
