Response to a Friend: Canary in a Coal Mine
Recently a friend from elementary school (thru high school) emailed me on Facebook. She’d read one of my posts and figured it was time to get back in touch. Like me, she had also undergone a radical shift from a Standard American Diet (SAD) to a much more hypoallergenic, organic, macrobiotics, and some raw lifestyles. She – lucky girl – also dropped 35 pounds without so much as counting a calorie or measuring a morsel!
But she did express her ire – or maybe sadness or regret – that she often feels like a canary in a coal mine, as she just seems much more sensitive to some/most foods than your typical American. And, like me, eating gluten, dairy, etc. often leads her to experience extreme physical discomfort, as well as psychological distress, and – you guessed it – cravings, binge eating, etc.
When I sat down to write her back, I just dove in. I thought it might be worth sharing that response here:
Hello!
I absolutely feel the same (being a canary in the coal mine, that is)!
And congratulations on the weight loss and improved health; that’s great!
Sometimes I just sit around in amazement at what other people put in their bodies and get by it!
That’s the rub. But then I think, I used to eat that way, give or take. And it didn’t kill me. I just didn’t know that you could feel better! And chances are, they don’t either.
The thing that is always shocking to me is to see young women who are super thin eating junk food walking around with their mothers, who are obviously unhealthy, and not to mention morbidly obese.
I just have to wonder, don’t they see the connection at all between what they’re putting in their mouths and what they’re going to feel like 20 years from now? What they’re going to look like? Don’t they realize? Don’t they care? I truly do believe that the effects of the typical SAD are exponential…not to mention inescapable for more people than realize it.
I do, however, think that the cleaner that you get (in terms of your diet), the more these things affect you.
Wine, for instance, doesn’t even taste good to me right now (and 1/2 a glass kills me). But if I continued to drink it, I’m sure I’d be just as inured to it as I was two years ago. And chances are I’d be craving it again on a weekly, if not daily, basis. And even more likely, I’d be depressed and about 15 pounds heavier – because I’ve been there and I’ve watched it over and over with other people who have these types of allergies but can’t seem to stick with it.
Take more for example. I am totally addicted/allergic to sugar. It’s deadly for me and I can feel it the minute it goes into my body. It takes me three days of fighting against serious cravings before I’m over it, so I have to really want it in order to have it. The weirdest thing that sets me off is bananas. Bananas! Can you imagine?
And you’re right about my cabinets being stocked with things people wouldn’t recognize as food. My new favorite things are chia seeds (this is my second go around with them), kale chips, this phenomenal seed bread that I make topped with avocado slices, etc. My cabinets are overflowing with goji berries, mulberries, goldenberries, chia seeds, hemp, hemp seeds, nuts, sesame seeds, maca, green powders, spirulina, raw cacao, cacao nibs, buckwheat grouts… It’s crazy.
We are also members of a local organic farm CSA so we are also overrun with all kinds of fabulous veggies (at least right now – now that it’s still summer).
I wish when I had done Weight Watchers all those years ago that they hadn’t been so profit based – hence their reliance on processed food. I can’t remember what your diet was like in school, but I’m pretty sure that I did a lot of damage to mine since I did the whole WW thing when I was a teen and drank Diet Coke and used artificial sweetners for years. Not to mention all of the processed cakes and cookies and chips and fried food and ice cream that I ate PRIOR to WW!
Dairy is something else that I’ve had to eliminate. It’s funny, I used to say, I could never be vegan. But then when I went raw, someone said, “Wow, you’re vegan too?” And I realized, yeah, I guess I am. I hadn’t even realized it!
So, I am curious, why did you start going to naturopathic doctor? I’d love to hear about your journey into alternative health, as well as what kind of feedback/pushback you’ve gotten from family and friends.
In terms of my weight – last time I was on a scale, I was at 132, which is the smallest I’ve ever been. I’m up from there – but I’m still in my size 4s (most days and my girls’ 16 (which I bought because I could never wear girls sizes when I WAS a girl).
I’m at the point now where I am battling my emotional/identity issues more than my physiology. Believe it or not, the latter is a much more sneaky and talented opponent.
I’ve got a great coach, because I think it’s really important to get these underlying issues under control so that I don’t fall off the healthy path. I can’t imagine it, really, because I feel so crappy and out of control when I’m not eating right, but it does seem like it could happen fast.
I think the biggest thing for me is that two years ago I went on antidepressants for what I thought was situational anxiety and depression. It started off a cascade of other symptoms, some of which were worse (in my mind) than the depression, which led to more meds, which led to more symptoms, which led to the OFFER of even more meds.
Talk about being overly sensitive!
I tried to go off the antidepressants and couldn’t do it.
At that time, I had bought an on-line information product from this women I met in L.A. and she was talking about gluten and dairy allergies. It sounded so familiar that I decided to eliminate them – them and processed sugar and all processed food.
Within ONE month I was off the antidepressants. So it wasn’t situational depression per se, it was food allergies!
For some people – me, apparently – gluten intolerance manifests itself as depression, in addition to cravings, bloating, weight gain, inflammation, etc.
Anyway, I could talk about this forever (and would be happy too).
I’m glad you found your way as well and, seriously, I would love to hear your story!
KJ
If any of YOU are thinking about going raw (or anything else similar) or if you have done so already, I’d love to hear from you as well!
Will Wonders Never Cease?
Someone actually emailed me and asked me specifically about my diet!
How cool is that?
I hope she’s ready to settle in for a good long read!
Reboot Camp Continues – This Time, Exercise
As mentioned in a few earlier posts, I have really been struggling with my exercise routine.
This summer I decided to follow a couple of different HIIT exercise programs and while they were okay, for a while, I eventually felt like I was losing ground cardio-vascularly. Maybe it the fact that I was panting on the Nordic Track after just five minutes that gave it away – can anyone say, “Former Spinning Instructor”?
Since HIIT is all the rage, I decided that I simply must not be doing it right. Right?
Well, I logged into the members area for the program that I was doing on-line and all of the women that it was working for were using it as a supplement to their other cardio workouts! One woman in particular, was bragging about how it had really improved her training.
What training, you ask?
The training she was doing for her upcoming marathon!
No wonder it was working for her! Jeez!
I expressed my dismay about my less than optimal hit rate with my then current HIIT program to my personal coach (who is not, btw, my fitness coach) and she said, oh yeah, I do HIIT – it’s great. I’ll send you a workout and a mix tape. Make sure you do a 15 minute power walking a couple times a day in addition to these more bursty-type exercises.
Okay. Why not? I’ve tried everything else this summer….
So, I start with 15 minutes on the Nordic Track (HIIT style; 30:30 sec interval ratio) as a warm up.
The new HIIT workout (6 different exercises on a 60:60 second interval ratio)
Then 10 minutes cool down, back on the Nordic Track
I just about died.
Did I mention that twice a week, I’m supposed to do this not once a day, but twice?!
I feel bad about switching horses in midstream, so to speak, but that’s life!
Maybe I’ll mix in the other routines on the days that I’m supposed to do two sets.
Regardless, in just three days, I can already feel a big difference – and this time, in the right direction – in my body!
Go me!
I’ll keep you posted!
Reboot Camp Snack: KJ’s Kickin’ Kale Chips
Since part of my reboot involves in drastically limiting the almond and nut butters that cross these lips, I decided that I really had to do something with all of that kale I had in the fridge that didn’t require slathering in it tahini and nutritional yeast before putting it in the dehydrator – no matter how tasty it is that way!
I had tried a couple of other kale chip recipes and wasn’t a fan.
So, last night, I decided to make my own:
KJ’s Kickin’ Kale Chips
1 massive bunch of organic Kale (the big curly kind)
5 Tbs of olive oil (I am actually trying to increase my intake here, so it’s okay)
1 Tb agave nectar
1 tsp of sea salt
freshly ground black pepper to taste
ground cumin, to taste
cayenne, a pinch or less, to taste
Braggs Amino Acids, a couple of shakes, to taste
Cut the stems out of your kale, then tear into bite sized pieces. Place in a large stainless steel mixing bowl.
Then add all of the other ingredients, massaging them into the kale. The more massage, the better your flavor will eventually be!
Toss into the dehydrator, directly onto the screens and dehydrate for 8 hours at 105 degrees (or until nice and crispy). I put mine in and left them overnight so I’m assuming it was about 8 hours!
Enjoy!
Taking a Much Needed Reboot: Recommitting to Raw
A couple of months ago, everything was going along swimmingly.
I looked good (always important). I felt thin, strong, and sexy (which was surprising, but fun nonetheless).
I felt healthy and food was my friend.
Then I started being asked out to dinner, to weddings, attending conferences, etc.
I started with some cooked food here and a little meat there. I had a couple of glasses of wine at a friend’s house. Then a couple of sips somewhere else.
I had some gluten-free cake at a wedding, then I had some more at a restaurant a few weeks later.
I started noshing on tabouli with cooked quinoa….heck, I even posted a recipe last week, where the main ingredient (black beans) were, you guessed it, cooked.
And underlying all of this was sugar and fat cravings that would not stop. I mean, constant. Not a day passed that you didn’t find me eating straight out of the peanut butter jar.
When you look at all this stuff, you might be thinking – tabouli and black bean and corn salad? Gluten free cake? Peanut butter? How bad is that?
Well, in my case, it reminded me just how slippery even the slightest slope can be.
Then, night before last, I totally freaked out – binged on tahini, seed bread, homemade chocolate, mulberries, etc. Seriously, if wasn’t nailed down or meowing it was in my mouth!
When it was over, I fell asleep in my partner’s arms, crying. Scared and frustrated because somehow I had fallen off my healthy path and it seemed, in that dark hour, that getting up was going to require heck of a lot more effort, energy, and willpower than I currently had at my disposal.
The next morning (yesterday) I recommitted to raw. 100% for one week (give or take a couple of percents, since I’m too lazy to make my own almond milk)!
And the only allowable snacks: chia seeds (in the form of a pudding or shake), fresh veggies, or raw fermented veggies.
Feeling pretty confident, I got to work with my homemade seed bread, avocado, raw fermented kimchi, and chia pudding, only to find that my office was holding a BBQ for our majors who were taking summer courses: pulled pork, ribs, chicken, cornbread with bacon, coleslaw (which was the only thing on the table that was not at all tempting), cookies, crack brownies, and dark chocolate.
I literally thought I was going to die.
The smell – or rather, the aroma – was overwhelming.
I doubt that I’ve ever written about it here, but I love BBQ. I think it must have something to do with growing up in the south. Importantly, the smell and taste of BBQ is not only tied up with my memories of home, but also of my recently departed grandparents.
I literally had to leave the room, go into the women’s bathroom and call Michael J for a little support on this one. I then went outside and took a much needed deep breath – not only to clear my nostrils, but also my mind.
I decided that if I still wanted it tomorrow (today), after it had been sitting in the fridge and all of the succulent juices had congealed into white blobs of animal fat, I could have it. But I had to eat it cold.
It’s amazing how much that image cooled the appetite.
And, fortunately, just as I was kicking myself for not bringing crunch veggies to munch on during this near reboot fiasco, one of my colleagues showed up with a pint of golden cherry/grape tomatoes. (I think I pretty much at the whole pint, give or take a few).
Focusing on the clean, crisp tanginess of the water based tomatoes and really dialing into the conversations around me, I made it out with my integrity and my waistline in tact.
And, if you’re wondering, I decided to work at home today – just in case the cold white blobs of fat decorating the pulled pork isn’t quite as off-putting in real life as they are in my imagination.
Maybe I should offer to cater the next student event; because after years of attending these things, I’ve noticed that the students, many of whom are athletes, are much less likely to make pigs of themselves – no pun intended – than the much more sedentary faculty and staff who are in charge of ordering the food!
Recipe: Almond Maca Chia Cacao Shake
Filed under: cooking, food, gluten-free, raw food, recipes, superfood |
Comments (3) More fun with chia seeds! It’s amazing how creative you can get when that’s one of your only three acceptable snack options!
Almond Maca Chia Cacao Shake (2 servings)
2 cups almond milk (I used Almond Breeze, Unsweetened Chocolate)
1 Tbs soaked chia seeds
1 Tbs maca
1 Tbs ground flax seeds
cinnamon, to taste
2 teaspoons of agave nectar (or 5 drops chocolate stevia and 1 tsp of agave nectar).
8 ice cubes
Throw all ingredients into a blender and blend!
I drank one for my morning snack and will have the other as my afternoon snack. Yum-my!
Recipe: Raw Chocolate Chia Seed Pudding
This is my new snack option – incredibly filling and incredibly fibrous. In other words, this puppy will fill you up and clean you out!
Raw Chocolate Chia Seed Pudding
2 cups almond milk (I used Almond Breeze, Unsweetened Chocolate)
1/2 cup chia seeds
1/2 teaspoon vanilla
1 Tbs raw cacao
cinnamon, to taste
liquid Stevia, to taste (I used chocolate)
Mix all ingredients in a mason jar, then put on the lid tightly and shake.
Let sit in the fridge for a couple of hours until nice and thick.
I think I waited about 4-5 hours, though a lot of recipes suggest that you let it sit overnight.
It stays good in the fridge, so I think there’s some wiggle-room.
If you’ve never had chia seeds before, they make a nice tapioca like pudding, and they are incredibly nutritious.
p.s. I’m sure you could make it with Vanilla milk, vanilla stevia, and without the cacao, but why would you want to? 
Recipe: Black Bean and Corn Salad (Gluten-Free)
Filed under: cooking, food, gluten-free, high water-content food, recipes |
Comments (1) The other day I realized that I still had 36 cans of organic black beans left over from the case-lot sale last October – that is, before I decided to go mostly raw.
I also realized I had a ton of fresh corn in the fridge, thanks to the local CSA.
Given that black beans are really good for you and I hate to waste food, I found myself dusting off my cookbooks – you know, the ones where you actually cook – and pouring over the pages until I found something that I thought might do the trick.
The winner: Anne Lindsay’s Black Bean and Corn Salad (slightly modified, of course)!
1 can organic black beans, drained and rinsed
1 sweet red bell pepper
2 cups raw corn kernels
1/2 cup chopped celery
1/4 cup chopped green onions
4 tbs chopped fresh coriander (cilantro)
Dressing:
3 Tbs rice or cider vinegar
1 1/2 tsp organic brown mustard (or Dijon)
1/4 tsp each of agave nectar, sea salt, freshly ground pepper
1 tsp each of water and vegetable oil (I actually forgot this part and didn’t notice until I was typing it up, so that leads me to believe that it’s optional!)
1. In a bowl, combine beans, red pepper, corn, celery, onions, and coriander.
2. Dressing. In a small bowl, whisk together vinegar, mustard, agave, sea salt, and pepper; whisk in water and oil. Pour over salad and stir to mix.
Makes 8 servings
calories: 117
protein: 6 grams
total fat: 2 grams (unless, of course, you forget the oil, like I did!)
saturated fat: trace
carbohydrates: 21 grams
fiber: 4 grams
sodium: 204 milligrams
This was quite tasty and I’m sure that I’ll make it again. I mean, after all, I still have 34 cans of beans in the basement!
Regardless, I served it with fresh tomato and cucumber slices. Water-based. Easy. Beautiful. and Tasty! An all around win.
Enjoy!
Packing up the kitchen, uhm, I mean, the suitcase
Filed under: challenges, food, gluten-free, nutrition, raw food, travel |
Leave a Comment I am traveling again. This time to Atlanta – downtown Atlanta, not one of the cute little neighborhoods with fun shops, boutiques, and grocery stores. But to the empty, deserted, hotel and restaurant infested part of the city.
So, as always – and even a little more so than always – I am packing my own food. And, as per usual, it looks like I’m going to be bringing more food than clothes!
The list, so far:
Susan’s Kale Chips 2.0
1 bag of Organic Baby Spinach
1 box of cherry tomatoes
1 gallon sized bag of chopped veggies: broccoli, carrots, turnips, and zucchini
Enough Chocolate Rice and Protein Powder for at least 4 shakes
3-4 avocados
Energy bars
Psyllium Husk
Spirulina
Almond butter
Kitchen utensils:
1 spoon
1 travel sponge
1 large cup
1 travel-sized Magic Bullet Blender
I’m sure I’m forgetting something; as I almost always do!
So, why am I bringing all of this food – particularly since I have lunch and dinner dates planned every day that I am there?
The powders, the spinach, and the avocados (or maybe the almond butter, depending on my mood) are all for breakfast. If I don’t have MY breakfast, the day is pretty much shot for food for me. If I don’t start off with my regular 60+ gram protein BOMB, I can pretty much count on a bad eating day. When I do start the day off with a shake, no matter where I am, I am more sated, I am more grounded, and I am much more likely to be in control of my eating (as opposed to the other way around).
And as someone who is 85% (more or less) raw vegan, it’s hard to get a satisfying meal out. Most restaurants’ idea of a big salad (see earlier post on this topic) wouldn’t feed a rabbit! So instead of being all weird about it, I’ve decided to just go and order a salad (where possible) and eat it. Even if it’s not particularly satisfying, I know that I have PLENTY of nutrition in my room to fall back on. Using this approach, “eating out” with friends will really be more like “hanging out.” Eat a little salad, drink a little water – then go back to my room for my real lunch or, as the case may be, dinner.
Now, even though Atlanta – at least the part I am going to me in – is not that diet friendly, there is a Legal Sea Food, which does have a pretty generous Gluten-Free Menu. Given that gluten-free is the mandatory condition and the raw/vegan is just the preference, I should be in pretty good shape on Saturday night – as that’s where my very understanding friend made reservations. And, believe it or not, Atlanta also has a Raw Restaurant! It’s not downtown, but it’s only a MARTA ride away. As it turns out, I have a chunk of time available on Saturday, so I’ll definitely be checking that out for lunch! And as a service to raw aficionados everywhere, I’ll be sure to let you know!
Late to the Party As Always: “Cheezy” Kale Chips
I spend a lot of time on websites dedicated to the joys of raw food and I have seen dozens, if not hundreds, of references to Kale Chips.
Though I love kale and I love chips, I really hadn’t put the two together – until about a week ago.
Mama, I think I’m in love!
Kale chips! Who knew? Other than the thousands of raw foodists and other health enthusiasts out there who haven been blogging about these culinary delights for months, if not years!
My current favorite recipe for Kale Chips comes from the book, Raw Food Cleanse, by Penni Shelton, who just happens to be from my hometown and the founder of Raw Food Rehab. Without any copy right infringement meant, here it goes:
Susan’s Kale Chips 2.0
2 heads of curly kale, de-stemmed and cut into large chunks
3/4 cup tahini
1/4 cup Bragg Liquid Aminos
1/4 cup Bragg apple cider vinegar
1/4 cup water
Juice of one lemon
1/4 cup nutritional yeast
1 clove garlic
Place all ingredients except kale in a food processor (or high speed blender) and run until well blended. Massage this mixture into the kale. Dry in dehydrator at 105 degrees until very crunchy!
EnjoY!
Peeking Under The Hood: It’s Not Just Calories In, Calories Out
Over the last month or so, I have hired a personal coach. Ostensibly, the goal was to help me break through my unfortunate, not to mention unhealthy, addiction to stress eating. And I don’t just stress eat – I do it at night. And I do it with just about anything with the word butter in the title – peanut butter being my ultimate favorite, followed closely by almond butter, then tahini (which, you guessed it, is sesame butter)! I guess the only good news is that I don’t like, eat, or use real butter, so it could be worse!
Regardless….
I have hired this amazing coach, Steph, and every week we talk on the phone for about an hour – every fourth week it’s an hour and a half. And guess what? Never once have we actually talked about food.
According to Steph, my remaining issues with food – the stress eating, the over reliance on fat and salt as a coping mechanism – are all symptomatic of deeper, underlying issues, many of which have their origins in childhood, but were undoubtedly reinforced in adolescence as well as in adulthood.
Last week, Steph took me on a guided meditation using a lot of Native American symbolism and other shamanistic healing techniques. She asked me to imagine a wooded setting and just to let different animals appear to me and to guide me through to my destination.
Although I was skeptical at first – aren’t I always? – my subconscious mind presented me with different guides with very little prompting. One, I had always suspected was a guide for me – the Deer. The others – an Owl, a Woodchuck, and a Peacock – were a little more surprising.
After the call, I did a little google searching on animal spirit guides and here’s what I found:
The Deer: The deer as a totem serves as a bridge between the wild and the tame. This is because the deer will often be seen on the edges of the wilderness it calls home. Deer will also venture into our roadways and gardens. When deer appears you may want to ask yourself if there is a wild streak in you that desires taming. Or, have you been too cautious lately and desire to take a walk on the wild side? Deers have acute senses, they are always on alert to keep themselves from harms way. Deer totem may appear when danger is lurking, it also serves as a reminder to be watchful and alert to potential harm….”
The Owl: “The owl represents wisdom and higher education. Because of the owl’s keen eyesight it considered to be a great visionary. It also has superb hearing. As a totem it can reveal clairaudient and clairvoyant abilities. This nocturnal bird is called “The Keeper of Dark Secrets.” The owl totem has a connection to the dark side and the dead. The owl is associated with superstition and magical powers. Whenever an owl appears or you hear an owl screech in the night it may be that a secret will soon be revealed to you. Also, if a secret is shared with you in confidence, the owl serves as a reminder to honor that knowledge and keep the secret private.”
The Woodchuck (aka Groundhog): “The groundhog is symbolically known as being a trance dreamer because of its deep slumber while hibernating underground. If the groundhog is your personal animal totem or makes its appearance in your life it may indicate that messages are being given to you through your dreams. Because the groundhog is a territorial animal, you may be in need of setting up boundaries or guarding your personal space.”
The Peacock: “The peacock is a majestic and mystical totem symbolizing inner wisdom. Whenever the peacock visits it is an invitation to view higher aspects of yourself through the eye image displayed on its magnificent display of feather plumes. The eye is your gateway to higher knowledge. Ask yourself if you need to widen your perspective and look deeper regarding a situation. The iridescent hues of blues and greens in the feathers have an exotic look. Are you stuck in drab surroundings? Are you able to reflect light and deflect dark emotions? The peacock teaches us to stand upright and show others our talents with pride.”
This may not be that resonate with you, as my readers, but, trust me, it’s very resonate with what’s going on in my life at the moment as well as in the foreseeable future.
If you haven’t ever looked beneath your own hood – I highly recommend it. It’s interesting. It’s fun. And it’s surprisingly insightful.
If you’re interested in finding your animal guides, here are three steps taken from an article originally posted at ehow.com.
Step 1
Find your power animal pro-actively by asking the animal spirits for a dream. Then rest and let the power animal find you. Don’t dismiss smaller animals such as mice or even insects. Animals have their own unique strengths. You may want to keep a journal beside your bed and make note of recurring dreams in which an animal or some form of an animal appears again.Step 2
Notice the things in nature that you are continually drawn to. Power animals may guide your senses and attention to certain elements, natural sites or geographical phenomena that are reminiscent of or peculiar to a certain animal. If you are repeatedly captivated by nests, burrows or snow, for example, let the animal world communicate itself to you.Step 3
Take time during the day to relax, close your eyes and breathe. Power animals frequently make themselves known to us when we are conscious as well as when we are asleep. Be receptive to visions through meditation. In your calm state, imagine a situation where you move out of your personal space such as your home and enter into an unknown but unthreatening and quiet natural space such as a field or a cave.Read more: How to Find Your Power Animal | eHow.com http://www.ehow.com/how_2202396_power-animal.html#ixzz0w1WxcSIj
For those of you who know me, you’re probably thinking: What?! Who are you and what have you done with KJ?!
Don’t worry, the staid, quiet academic you know and love is alive and well (well, when she needs to be), but this year has been a time of deep reflection and exploration for me. I’ve stepped away from strictly rational explanations – not that I am implying that there is anything irrational about spirit guides, mind you! I have also lessened my reliance on strict sociological explanations and have begun to include more psychological insights into my view of the world.
So, does this mean I’m flip-flopping or abandoning my roots? No, not at all. I prefer to think of it as growing. Of letting go of some of the rigidity of my youth and seeing the world and myself in different and multifaceted ways. And, hey, if by opening my mind to new possibilities means I can get rid of these stubborn couple inches of belly fat, all the better. Regardless of what happens with my waistline, I can tell you one thing – since I have been, as Peter Gabriel so eloquently put it – digging in the dirt – life has gotten so, so much easier on so many fronts, the least of which is food!
The Flavor of the Week: Avocado, Cacao, and Spinach…
…what’s not to like?
I have loved ice cream my entire life. It’s ironic that I lost 90 pounds while working at a Baskin Robbins. It wasn’t due to lack of desire, trust me. I just had stronger will power back then!
Since I’ve gone vegan (and soy free to just to make things really hard) I’ve been playing with the blender with as much enthusiasm as any mad scientist in her lab.
If given a choice, I would live on smoothies – or protein shakes. Or Ginger Lime Blasts. You name it, if it’s wet and cold, I’m all over it.
Especially in the summer.
This week’s concoction – or, as they used to say at Baskin Robbins, this “Flavor of the Week” – is totally decadent.
It’s super filling. It’s unbelievably healthy. It makes at least 16 ounces (did I mention that I still struggle with portion control?) and it’s chocolate. If I was going to describe it, I would say it’s half milkshake, half mousse.
KJ’s Flavor of the Week
1 scoop of Chocolate Rice Powder
1 scoop psyllium husk
lots of cinnamon (at least two teaspoons)
1/2 of an avocado
1 red chard leaf or a handful of spinach (or both)
1 cup of cold water
10-12 drops of Dark Chocolate Liquid Stevia
6-7 ice cubes
Process all of the ingredients in a high speed blender. Enjoy!
This is so filling and so, so yummy!
Tons of protein, tons of fiber, tons of essential fats, tons of yum! If you haven’t tried the avocado, cacao, dark leafy green combo, trust me, you don’t know what you’re missing!
Shining the Light On the Ghost of Gym Teachers Past
A few weeks ago (or maybe months at this point), I told you that I had started doing High Intensity Interval Training, otherwise known as H.I.I.T.
I was pretty excited about it and I told you that I would keep you posted. Part of the reason I was excited about it is that it gives you little bursts of energy – bursts of energy that may very well have saved the life of Michael J’s super-friendly, but not overly bright feline, Harlequin. But that’s another story and one that I’ve shared before.
Since that fortuitous day, my love of H.I.I.T. has dwindled.
1) It’s hard.
2) It’s not nearly as fun as spinning.
3) Did I mention that it’s hard?
Or at least that’s the story I kept telling myself – all the while ignoring the fact that I loved how I felt once I was done (partly because it is hard and I really felt like I accomplished something) and how I could literally see and feel myself getting stronger by the day.
So, I sat down and really thought about it. Why do I dislike this so much? Why do I have such strong internal resistance to this particular form of exercise? I mean, seriously. I am a woman who did P90X (three times) with more enthusiasm. So what’s the deal?
The clues to the answer to my question came from two places.
One, I was bemoaning my fate to my Aunt Linda and she said, “I think I might actually like this. It sounds like the stuff we used to do in school. And it doesn’t sound like you need a lot of fancy equipment.”
Ding.
Something resonated deep down in the depths of my psyche.
Two, I’ve been working with a personal coach who is awesome. She’s been having me do written exercises that will help me bust through the resistance I have to doing certain things in my real life – things like reviewing articles, starting my book, cleaning the house, doing H.I.I.T. exercises.
During the one of the exercises, one of the steps is to write down all of the negative emotions and thoughts associated with doing H.I.I.T. When I got to that part, I heard that same low tone. And all of a sudden, I was back at the gym at Carver Middle School, during the week of the the Presidential Fitness Test – thank you Ronald Reagan. May you be best remembered for terrorizing poor, clumsy, fat kids across America.
I realized that not only did H.I.I.T. remind me of middle school gym class in general (just like they had reminded my Aunt of hers), but it also reminded me of one particular instance of middle school gym class that was so personally horrifying that I didn’t even tell my sister about it until a few months ago (some 27 years after the fact). And when I told Michael J., sometime after that, I cried.
Methinks herein lies the problem.
I’m putting this out there – shining the light on my demons, if you will – to see if I can exorcise them once and for all and hopefully, get on with the act of exercising!
At my middle school, we had a female coach (Coach Holmes) and a male coach (Coach Rogers). Technically, I was in Coach Rogers’ class, who was a very sensitive and perceptive soul. However, during the week of the Presidential FItness Tests, all of the girls went to Coach Holmes’ office to get weighed and measured and all the boys reported to Coach Rogers’. Unfortunately, Coach Holmes, though nice enough, was not nearly as sensitive or perceptive as her male counterpart.
Imagine, if you will, a group of middle-school aged girls standing in line as the teacher for all intents and purposes shouts out your weight to her student aid, who just happened to be her very attractive, athletic, and if memory serves reigning kick-pin champion/cheerleader daughter, Kendra.
I step onto the scale.
Dead silence.
I look at Coach Holmes.
She looks at me.
We look at the scale: 180.
“It must be broken,” she says.
“It’s not broken,” I say. “Why would it be broken now when it wasn’t broken when anyone else stepped on it?”
“That can’t be right,” she says.
“It’s right,” I assure.
Kendra, bless her heart, looks embarrassed.
“Go down to Coach Roger’s office and use his scale. That can’t be right.”
“It’s right.”
“Just do down to Coach’s office and try it again.”
I remember stepping off the scale and marching, face beet red, down to the other end of the cavernous gym, thinking I had never been so mortified in my life.
I was wrong.
Halfway down the length of the basketball quart, I hear Coach Holmes yell, “Coach Rogers, I’m sending Lively down there to weigh, because I think this scale is broken.”
The entire gym fell silent and 60 pairs of eyes landed on my chubby body simultaneously.
Someone laughed.
(Do you blame them?)
I kept my head up and walked steadily into Coach Roger’s office.
“Lively?”
“It’s not broken,” I said.
And he nodded silently and laid a sympathetic hand on my arm. “I’ll tell her.”
Maybe there is something valuable about airing your dirty laundry, because as I tell it, it doesn’t seem that bad. But as I carried it around with me for years, it was one of my most tightly guarded miseries. I’m hopeful that tomorrow, when it’s time to exercise, I will not feel that lingering sense of dread, reluctance, or resistance.
By putting it out there for the world to see, to share, and perhaps even to think, “What’s she complaining about? That’s nothing,” maybe it will, indeed, become nothing.
As always, I’ll let you know.
And if any of my old middle school friends read this and you ever happen to see Coach Holmes, give her my best. Because I realize, in retrospect, that that’s what she was only trying to do.
Refurbishing Old Favorites: KJ’s Raw “Rice” Salad
One of the things that transitioning to a majority raw diet has taught me is that you need to be able to eat at least some of the things that you used to love when you were eating cooked food.
Sometimes that means just going ahead and eating it, as I did the other night when I had a delicious part-cooked part-raw meal at my friend Meg Maker’s house or as I did last night, when I met some former students for dinner at the Elephant Walk.
Other times, however, it means learning to refashion (or even refurbish) old cooked favorites.
A couple of weeks ago, I started thinking about a salad that a friend of mine used to make in graduate school. It wasn’t a traditional salad, as its base ingredient was cooked sushi rice. I believe the ingredients were rice, vinegar, avocado, crumbled nori sheets, and cucumber. I’m pretty sure that it came from one of the Moosewood Cookbooks and may have been called Sushi Salad or something like that.
Well, I’ve been thinking about that salad a lot, and this is what I came up with:
KJ’s “Rice Salad”
Ingredients:
2 cups cauliflower, “riced” in the high speed blender or food processor
1 small cucumber, peeled and diced
1/2 – 1 small avocados, diced
1 medium carrot, finely grated
6 – 8 stalks of baby asparagus, snapped into pieces (optional)
1 tomato, diced (optional)
2 Tablespoons of raw organic dulse flakes (or crumbled nori sheets)
Sesame oil, to taste
Braggs amino acid, to taste
Directions:
Rice the cauliflower by cutting it small bite size pieces, then hitting the pulse button until you have reached desired consistency.
Add all of your other ingredients in layers, then drizzle on the sesame oil and the Braggs amino acids, to taste.
Gently toss to mix the flavors.
It’s fast, easy, delicious, healthy, and absolutely gorgeous. What more could you want?
Enjoy!
Searching for a new love
It’s important to love what you do – else you won’t do it.
When you find something you love, it’s not a chore. You feel awesome afterwards. You enjoy it in process. You look forward to doing it. And you miss it when you’re not doing it.
When you haven’t found something you love (but you’re making yourself do it anyway) it’s always a chore. You don’t feel awesome afterwards (if you’re lucky, you just feel relieved). You don’t enjoy it in process. You dread doing it and are therefore susceptible to any reason to not do it. And you certainly don’t miss it when you’ve skipped it. You might feel guilty, because all too often it’s something that you should have done, but you don’t actually regret not having done the thing itself.
This is true of almost everything that you know you should be doing.
In this case, it’s exercise.
For those of you who know me, you might be surprised that I am bemoaning exercise. I mean, I am addicted to exercise, right?
Wrong.
I was addicted to the long drawn out intensive cardio workouts that the new weight loss experts actually tell you causes fat storage!
I liked being on the stair mill for an hour.
I loved spinning!
I loved the feeling of working out anaerobically and being drenched in sweat!
Since I gave up spinning (almost two years ago) I have been struggling to find a new love.
I tried straight cardio, which, as noted, has been suggested actually causes fat storage (and based on my own experience and the credentials of the weight loss coaches I have encountered, I believe it). I tried kettle bells, and I have tried High Intensity Interval Training (HIIT).
HIIT works, no doubt about it. Problem is that I don’t love it, so it’s hard for me to be consistent with it. It’s hard and even though it’s only 20 or 30 (or sometimes 40 minutes depending on the workout) there is a big psychological resistance to be overcome every time I think about dusting off the exercise shoes.
Then of course there is my own ongoing love affair (NOT!) with yoga. Oh, if I could just learn to love yoga! I love yoga clothes. I love how good it is for you on any number of fronts. Hell, I love the bodies of the women I know that do it. But there’s just something missing.
Then there’s the newest weapon in my arsenal: Belly Dancing.
I actually tried Belly Dancing today. It was fun. It was harder than it looked. It is definitely going into the rotation – even if only because I want to wear the nifty belt!
Spinning was my one true love – followed quickly by the TreadClimber, then the StairMill.
Everything else has been a far fourth, fifth, and sixth.
I’m not sure how to remedy that. Though maybe I’ll just mix it up. Maybe if I have five or six things I sort of like, I’ll be able to convince myself to do at least one of them (if not more).
Yeah, as my father is so fond of saying, that’s the ticket. I’ll mix things up and see how that goes. And maybe, just maybe, if I try hard enough and squint long enough, I’ll fall in love again when I least expect it!
Wish me luck.
My New Favorite Breakfast Drink: Ginger Lime Blast
Over the last three years, I have given up pretty much every thing I liked – if not loved – to drink! Coffee, diet coke, wine, margaritas…. You name it, it I gave it up.
I was pretty much down to water and herbal tea. I had a minor flirtation with Kombucha – and I will again, when they put it back on the shelf!
Well, I have stumbled on a new concoction and I have been enjoying it daily! Not only is it absolutely delicious (indeed, even my father likes it!) it’s also super healthy. It’s detoxifying, alkalizing, and it even speeds up your metabolism! Seriously, what more could you want?
Recipe:
Juice of two lemons
Juice of one lime
3 slices of ginger root (each one about the thickness of a quarter)
1 slice fresh jalapeno (seeds removed)
2 stalks of celery
Liquid Stevia (15-20 drops)
2 cups water
2 cups ice
4 to 6 strawberries (optional)
Put it all in the blender and hit the button!
This makes about 32 ounces and it’s wonderful! It’s actually great if you exercise in the morning, because there’s just enough energy there to get you through a pretty tough 30 minute work out!
Regardless, enjoy on an empty stomach; preferably before breakfast!
This is so refreshing! I love, love, love it! And everyone I’ve shared it with agrees!
Eat more fat and eat less, period?
For the last couple of years, I’ve been told about the importance of eating high quality fats for weight loss (not to mention overall health more generally). And though it made sense, intellectually, I just couldn’t get myself to do it. I mean, I’ve had a bottle of Udo’s 3-6-9 tablets in the fridge for well over two years and I may have – maybe – taken about a third of them.
A few weeks ago, I went to a nutritionist, who wanted to see a list of everything that had gone into my mouth for a week. SInce I was still counting calories then (more on my experiences not counting calories to come) I had a very detailed account of what I had been eating, not just for a week, but for months (if not years).
After about ten minutes of flipping through print outs she asked, “Where are you getting your fat from?”
I looked at her sort of funny and said, “Well, as you can see, I eat a lot of tahini. It used to be peanut butter, but I can’t control myself around that. I had switched to almond butter, because I didn’t like it as much and then eventually got to be just as much as a trigger food as peanut butter. Now it’s tahini.”
She flipped through another few pages. “Do you eat olive oil? Fish? Flax?”
Uhm, not really. Mainly I had stopped eating all of that stuff because my nut butter compulsions were so out of control.
Her suggestion: Maybe the reason I can’t control myself around peanut butter, almond butter, and (while not quite as bad as the other two) tahini is that I’m fat deficient.
To be honest, I almost laughed.
Until she started giving me the symptoms associated with fat deficiency: constipation, dry hair, brittle nails, dry skin, fatigue, depression, anxiety – you name it, I have been experiencing it.
Prescription: eat more fat.
More to the point: eat a wider spectrum of fats.
Since I met with her I have really upped my fat intake and, importantly, reduced my nut and seed butter intake dramatically. So instead of eating nut butters and or tahini straight out of the jar and feeling like an out of control pig in the process, I am consciously adding fat to every meal.
To my morning smoothie, which is heavy on the rice protein, raw cacao, and dark leafy greens, I am adding 1 tablespoon of Barlean’s Chocolate Raspberry Swirl Essential Oils for Women. (If you haven’t tried this stuff, it is so good that you could eat it – literally – off the spoon or as a topping for ice cream. Seriously, it’s that good!)
To my lunch, I have added an avocado.
For my snack, I am having 1, if not 2, tablespoons of coconut butter. (If you haven’t tried this either, get some, as it is truly divine. I am not kidding, it is absolutely heavenly!) This particular brand comes in regular, which is just straight coconut and in chocolate – aptly named Raw Organic Cacao Bliss, which is coconut and raw cacao. Either way, it’s delicious. It’s a bit hard to deal with in the summer months because it goes liquid at 72 degrees, but where there’s a will, there’s a way! And trust me, its inconsistent consistency hasn’t stopped me yet. Again, delicious straight off the spoon, off my finger, or as a spread.
For dinner? Well, it depends. Sometimes it’s more avocado. Sometimes it’s sesame oil. Sometimes it’s flax seed. Sometimes it’s olive oil.
Bottom line: I am now eating essential fats at every meal.
And guess what? I’m no longer binging on peanut butter, almond butter, or tahini. In fact, it’s been days since I’ve had any of those things and I haven’t even missed them!
As someone who has counted calories (and fat) for years and who has tendencies to binge on high fat foods, the notion of adding fat purposefully and consciously into my diet not only seemed counter-intuitive, but also scary. However, it’s eliminated the binging and, more importantly, all of the subsequent guilt, self-abuse, and self-ridicule.
And how has this affected the scale, you might be wondering?
Well, I couldn’t tell you, because in addition to ditching the calorie counting, I also have stopped weighing myself. But it appears – by sight, by the fit of my clothes, and by the number on the measuring tape – that Barlean’s claim to be an “approved belly fat cure” may not be as overstated as I originally thought.
Got fat?
Revisiting Exercises from Days Long Past
Everyone always tells you that exercise should be fun – because, let’s face it, if it’s not fun you’re less likely to want to do it. And despite the fact that recent research has now pretty much shown that exercise is not going to make you thin, there are a lot of positive benefits of getting your heart rate up – the least of which include helping your body absorb calcium from the blood, detoxifying your skin, and strengthening your heart.
So what does it mean to find an exercise that you love?
As adults, particularly women, we tend to think about exercise as going to a gym or taking a class. Admittedly, men are more likely to have stayed active with sporting activities or games throughout their lives, for example, playing pick up basketball at community gyms or going rock climbing, skiing, or cycling on the weekends with their friends.
But if you watch young kids play, they are constantly in a state of motion. They don’t need any excuse to exercise. They don’t need any additional motivation. You don’t need to convince them to move. In fact, if anything, you usually have to convince them to stop running, to sit down, to take a nap, and to settle down. Unfortunately these messages are usually pretty well internalized by the time they’re teens – which is the time when they need to start running, to get up, to stop sleeping, and pick it up. This is especially true for young women whose bodies (especially if they’ve grown up drinking dairy products enriched with fat storing growth hormones) are naturally designed to start storing fat upon adolescence.
Kids move their bodies.
Adults look for excuses not to.
Well, yesterday, I was doing a round of High Intensity Interval Training and one of the sets was to skip in place.
Remember skipping? 
It took me a minute as I really had to think about what I was requiring my body to do. You throw one arm up as the opposite knee also goes up? What?!
After a couple of false starts, I figured it out. And once I did, my body memory kicked in and I remembered: I love skipping! Or, more accurately, when I was a kid, I loved skipping! I didn’t just like it. I seriously loved it! In fact, I remember my mother telling me repeatedly to slow down, to stop skipping, to not skip in the house, etc. Now, granted, I was a bit of a klutz, so I’m sure that I spent more time on the ground face first than I did moving gracefully above ground and we also lived in a pretty small house, so she was probably just looking out for my best interest – so I don’t mean to be bashing my mom. But the bottom line is that eventually I stopped skipping. I stopped skipping so resolutely that I had completely forgotten about it. I had completely forgotten about how much I loved it.
So, during my H.I.I.T. I was supposed to skip in place 75 times.
Without going into too much detail, let me just say that that’s harder than it sounds! I was gasping by the end of it. I was particularly out of breath given that you did this 12 times, plus a lot of other stuff (the entire routine was based off the of the song The Twelve Days of Christmas with the skipping on day one! Just in case math isn’t your strong suit: 75 times 12 is a 900 skips. That’s a lot of skips. If you don’t believe me, just give it a shot!
Well, after that I started thinking. What would my life had been like if I had never stopped skipping? How many calories a day would I have burned just doing something that I loved instead of doing something that I felt like I had to do? How much better shape would I be in if I skipped from my car to the office and back again? Or if I skipped from one end of the house to the other ten times a day as I went about my daily routine? More importantly, how much more fun would I have?
So, after my 20 minute exercise routine, I drank some water and decided to skip to the end of the driveway and back. Michael J and I live in a house that’s pretty set back from the road; I would guess that it’s less than a quarter mile, but I couldn’t tell you for certain. It is pretty steep though, at least in places. Regardless, I took a deep breath and without so much as even taking a glance around to see if anyone was watching, I took off.
Skipping in the real world is fun. Skipping in motion (that is, not in place in your living room) is fun and exhilarating. There’s enough movement that it creates a nice breeze. I felt ten years younger. I laughed. I had fun!
Heading down hill (away from the house) my heart rate pretty quickly went from 85 (post workout) to 115 and by the time I had made it to the street it was 145. After taking a few seconds rest, I turned around and headed back up the hill, which, granted, was much harder. By the time I crested the last hill, I was totally winded and my heart rate was 162!
But it was fun! In less than 6 minutes, I burned about 70 calories and had a complete physiological and emotional state change. Not only because I was moving my body, but because I was moving it in a way that brought back memories of being happy, easy, free, and comfortable in my body. I was literally transported back to a time where I accepted myself whole heartedly and could enjoy being in my body without any feelings of inadequacy, embarrassment or shame. And trust me, that’s worth something.
If you need to mix up your routine or you just need a quick way to shift your state, try skipping. Or, better yet, reach into your old childhood toy box and find find the thing that you used to love the most. Even if you don’t think you remember how to do it, I bet your body can remind you. And even if you think you’re body can’t do it because you’re too old or you’re too out of shape or that you couldn’t possibly still like X, Y, or Z, I bet you’ll be pleasantly surprised!
Strike Two on Personality!
As I mentioned in my last post, I recently learned that INTJs (Introverted INtuitive Thinker Judgers), under times of stress are more likely to seek out full body experiences, which include, among other things (like sex and exercise), eating!
Given that I have struggled with stress eating (some would call it bingeing) and – to a lesser degree – overexercise my whole life, this made a lot of sense to me.
We then moved on to the Enneagram Personality Model. Well, as it turns out I am a 5 Personality Type (also known as the Stinge). Stinge’s hoard. They always think that they need more of whatever it is. I could give you a thousand examples of how this plays out in my daily life now that I am aware of it (including how I routinely hide protein bars in my bag so that Michael J won’t eat the one’s that I want and how I routinely hog all of the flat surfaces in the house with of the stuff that I’ve been hoarding for God only knows how long), but I won’t. Just trust me: it’s there!
Interestingly, the Enneagram Personality Model tells you what your basic preferences or behavior patterns are at three points: where you are normally (which for me is a 5) and where you go under times of stress and intimacy. Without going into too much gory detail, where I go under intimacy explains a lot about my history with men (and with friends). And where I go under stress is – you guessed it – Gluttony!
Interestingly, the Myer’s-Brigg and the Enneagram are not perfectly correlated with one another. You can think of one as supplementing the other.
So, just my luck – what didn’t get covered by stress eating gets “covered” by my propensity to choose gluttony!
Now, one approach to this information might be just say, that’s the way I am, so I have permission to act that way…so I should just pull my chair up to the fridge and be done with it. However, personality can also be thought of as a decision that you made as a child in response to an arbitrary event that you had confirmed over and over again during the course of your life as opposed to something that’s biologically hardwired. If you take this second approach, then I can view my propensity to stress eat simply as a learned pattern of behavior that can be unlearned.
The key is remembering to observe it (and acknowledge it) not as something that can’t be changed, but as just something I do because it’s comfortable. It’s a choice. It’s not set in stone. It’s not just the way I am. And, perhaps even more importantly, it’s not me.
So the next time I catch myself stress eating, I will just observe the behavior and acknowledge that that’s the choice I made.
And, who knows? Perhaps, in time, I’ll learn to choose a different choice.
